


i’ll set my bones and join you

by tigerlo



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, first times fic, fluff and sap, fluff and sap and lovely things, oh and a bit of blink and you'll miss it smut too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 08:37:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11376552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerlo/pseuds/tigerlo
Summary: A sort of first-times fic with Erin and Jillian and snapshots of milestones in their lives together.orThe greatest love story almost never told.





	i’ll set my bones and join you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cosmotronic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmotronic/gifts).



> So I've had about a third of this sitting in my work in progress pile for months now and I had a tiny little spark of inspiration with this and another thing a few days ago so thought I'd dust it off and present it happily to cosmotronic as a belated birthday present. 
> 
> This is soft and sappy and very unlike me but I hope you like it, buddy! 
> 
> Oh, and I always forget to say thanks because I'm useless but [lexluthr](http://lexluthr.tumblr.com) you're amazing, thanks for beta-ing this for me!
> 
> Alright, enough rambling from me. Enjoy!
> 
> x

-

 

 

Jillian likes to live her life in the quiet spaces of the world.

 

She’s aware of how brutally ironic this is, given her chosen occupation, but the outside world is bright and harsh and while the one she has created herself is not so different, at least here she has control.

 

But when she's with Erin, it doesn't matter. Nothing does. 

 

When she's with Erin she can be  _ quiet.  _

 

 

-

 

 

Erin makes her bones ease and her heart slow and she feels at peace when they are together. 

 

The pace drains out of the world and everything stills and Jillian feels like she sees the world differently because everything isn't a rush of colour anymore. 

 

It's simpler. Less chaotic. Black and white. 

 

But Erin is the colour. 

 

 

-

 

 

Erin is not a morning person.

 

Jillian had always expected Erin to be the kind of person who rises before the sun, and it’s not until she sleeps over for the first time that she realises how wrong she is.

 

Erin is grumpy and short-tempered and snaps at Jillian until she has a cup of coffee in her hands and then her eyes ease and her shoulders drop and she takes one last sip before leading Jillian back to bed, their bodies both alight with the softness of the early morning. 

 

 

-

 

 

Some days it’s far from easy.

 

It’s hard because Jillian isn’t used to sharing her life with another person, and sometimes she just…. _ forgets _ .

 

She forgets to hang up her clothes, and she forgets to bring dinner home for two and she forgets to leave enough hot water in the tank.

 

Every time she forgets she winces, afraid that  _ this _ might be the single grain of sand to bring down a pyramid, but instead Erin looks at her with kind eyes that are annoyed but patient, and she doesn’t have to explain that it’s only because she never prepared herself for a future in which she was anything different than  _ alone _ , because Erin already  **knows** . 

 

 

-

 

 

Their first time is different to anything Jillian has ever experienced.

 

 

-

 

 

Her hands shake as she peels the clothes away from Erin and she's never been so nervous before, which is ridiculous because  _ this _ she knows. 

 

This she's good at, probably better and more well practiced than she'd care to admit. 

 

But Erin is different. 

 

Erin is  _ everything _ . 

 

And it's funny because Erin's never done this before so it's not like she has anything to best, but still. 

 

Because nothing has ever meant so much and nothing has ever been so precious and she doesn't want to fuck this up. 

 

Erin's nervous too, she can tell, so she steels her nerves and changes. She makes herself brave because this is everything and actually, in some ways she knows Erin better than she knows her own body. 

So she looks up, smiles slyly into the nervous space between them and Erin stops. 

 

She shudders for an entirely different reason. 

 

And Jillian takes control. 

 

 

-

 

 

“Does it ever feel like we’ve already lived a life together?’

 

“I don’t know, does it to you?”

 

“Sometimes. Sometimes I feel like my body knows yours too well for just one lifetime.”

 

 

-

 

 

“Do you think you would have loved me if we’d met in a different time?”

 

“Like decades different?’

 

“Yeah? Maybe? I don’t know.”

 

“Yes. I think I’d love every possible iteration of you. Don’t you?”

 

“Always. In every world. Don’t you feel it too?”

 

 

-

 

 

The first time they fight she honestly thinks is going to be the last. 

 

It's bad, and neither of them are yellers but they almost tear the roof off. 

 

It's Thursday and it's been a long, awful week and the bust had sounded simple but it had been  _ hard _ . They'd split up in the mansion and Jillian had veered off down one of the wings, her eye catching something green and bright and honestly, she hadn't been thinking but she'd been cornered and had just managed to radio for help before the ghost had knocked her out cold. 

 

She'd come to with a worried and livid Erin standing over her, the paramedic at her side with a gentle hand on her wrist and Erin hadn't said anything until they were safely back at the firehouse but she'd started low and angry and Jillian had bitten, her head pounding as Abby and Patty had backed away upstairs. 

 

“How could you be so stupid?” Erin growls, her hands tight in fists at her side. 

 

“What do you mean?” Jillian asks confused as she grabs an ice pack out of the freezer to place on the back of her neck. 

 

“You could have been killed, Jill. That hit could have killed you or knocked you out before you'd radioed for help.”

 

“I'm sorry, alright?” She says defensively. “I wasn't thinking.”

 

“No, you weren't. You never do. You never think about how your actions don't just affect you anymore, Jillian. They affect me too.”

 

“Don't play that card, Erin. You know that's bullshit,” Jillian says, her anger building. “You know I think about you.”

 

“Do I?” Erin asks with a bite. “Because I try to think differently and then you go and do something so selfish and dangerous and  _ you could have been killed _ .”

 

“But I wasn't,” Jillian says throwing the ice pack on the bench. “I'm here. I'm fine. Apart from this delightful discussion which is doing wonders for my headache by the way.”

 

“Yes, you're fine this time. And maybe the next time. But what happens when that trademark Jillian Holtzmann luck runs out, huh? What then? God, you drive me  _ insane _ sometimes, Jill.”

 

“Yeah, well times like these I can't say the feeling's not mutual, Erin.”

 

“Well what would you have done if it was me, if I'd gone off and gotten myself injured without a means of calling for backup? How would you feel?”

 

“Worried, a little angry but I don't think I'd be yelling the walls in,” Jillian says meeting her gaze. 

 

“Oh right, because I'm so unreasonable,” Erin says as she picks on a thread. “Fuck you, Jillian.”

 

“No, you know what? Fuck you, Erin,” Jillian says, her temper finally snapping properly. “You act like I never think about you or anyone else, but it's all I do. You just don't give me credit for being even remotely emotionally mature just because I've never done this relationship thing before. Well, I wonder why not when this is the way it plays out?” 

 

“Maybe you're right. Maybe you're better off alone without someone like me,” Erin says with a black look. 

 

“And maybe you'd be better off without me to worry about every five seconds, huh?” Jillian returns, throwing the grenade back at Erin. “I'm sorry I'm such a damn annoyance to you like I've always been to everyone else.”

 

She can see the fire seep out of Erin's face when she realises how much she's hurt Jillian then, how much they've hurt each other, but it doesn't matter. She's done. She's not going to stay here just so they can continue throwing arrows at each other. 

 

“I'm leaving,” Jillian says as she turns and walks out the front door, not bothering to grab her coat or phone or wait for a reaction.  

 

She leaves and Erin doesn't follow her and she thinks this must be it, the thing to finally push Erin over the edge, and it makes her feel sick. 

 

She doesn't want to go home, not yet, but she doesn't have any money so she just walks and walks and walks until her feet hurt and her eyes start to feel heavy before she finally turns for home. 

 

Her keys are in her pocket, thank god, and she doesn't notice right away because her head is dipped as she looks down at her hands trying to pick the right one but she almost drops them when she registers the sight waiting for her. 

 

Erin. In a heap on her doorstep with a bunch of flowers in her lap. 

 

“I'm sorry,” Erin says as soon as their eyes lock. “I wasn't angry at you at all, I was just scared. I've never been so scared in my whole life, Jill.”

 

“I know,” she says as she pulls Erin up from the floor, her heart beating loudly in relief. “I know. I'm still sorry though, Erin. I'm so sorry. I never should have left.”

 

“But you came back,” Erin says and it's half a question. “You came back, right? I haven't ruined everything?”

 

“Of course not,” Jillian says shaking her head as she reaches down and links their hands together. “As long as I didn't ruin anything either?”

 

“Never,” Erin says a little sniffly, her eyes glassy. 

 

“Never say never,” Jillian says with a smile before Erin bats her arm lightly with the flowers. 

 

“Shut up,” Erin says with a watery smirk. “These are for you by the way.”

 

“No one's ever given me flowers before,” Jillian says with a soft smile because they haven't. No one's ever made a gesture anywhere near as thoughtful as this, in fact. 

 

“I think it's customary when one person screws up,” Erin says with an apologetic look. “Do you not like them?”

 

“I love them,” Jillian says and suddenly everything makes sense and the next words tumble from her mouth as easy as a breath.

 

“And I love you.”

 

“You what?” Erin asks, mouth slightly agape. 

 

“I love you,” Jillian says simply. Because she does. 

 

And there's a beat between them, a few seconds where Erin doesn't say anything at all and Jillian's worried she's messed everything up for real but then Erin's face splits in a smile. 

 

“I love you too,” Erin says easily. 

 

The flowers fall to the ground as they pull one another together, and the dawn is filled with their sighs as they meet. 

 

 

-

 

 

The day they decide to move in together is a Wednesday. 

 

She's at Erin's place and she cannot find her necklace. 

 

And it's a pain in the ass because the thing is huge and she hardly ever takes it off but Erin's décolletage is a little bony and sometimes it hurts her when they make out on the couch when it knocks against the fine bones when Jillian's on top. 

 

Normally she puts it down somewhere obvious but she clearly hasn't done that this time because she's almost turned the whole apartment upside down and she still hasn't found the damn thing, and she was sure she had it on yesterday but maybe she'd taken it off at her place and not put it back on. 

 

“Erin,” she calls from the bedroom. “Have you seen my necklace?” 

 

“Your what?” Erin asks as she peers around the door, one heel in hand as she rests against the frame while she slips the other on. 

 

“My necklace,” Jillian says smiling as she watches Erin's delicate little balancing act. “Have you seen it? I can't find it anywhere. I can't remember if I left it at mine or here.”

 

“Oh,” she says looking a little guilty all of a sudden. “Yeah, I have.”

 

She drops down onto two feet, a little unbalanced given the heel, before she looks at Jillian with a shy smile and reaches beneath the collar of her shirt. 

 

“It's here,” she says as she pulls it out fully and it rests against her chest. “I saw it this morning while you were in the shower and put it on so I'd remember to give it to you and I guess I forgot.”

 

She goes to slip it off but Jillian stops her hand with a soft touch. 

 

“No,” Jillian says with a smile. “Leave it on. If you want that is.”

 

“Really?” Erin asks with a smile. “Just for the day. Then you can have it back, I promise.”

 

“Yeah,” Jillian says with a smile. “It looks good on you.”

 

Erin beams as she tucks it back beneath her top, and she appraises Jillian for a moment with a curious expression before she bends down to slip her other shoe. 

 

She glances up and fixes Jillian with a look that says she's made her mind up about something, the  _ what _ Jillian's not sure about just yet. 

 

“There's an easy solution to that, you know?” Erin says with a shrug. 

 

“To what?”

 

“To not knowing whether something is at my place or yours.”

 

“Like what?” Jillian asks with a frown, not understanding.

 

“Move in with me,” Erin says with a smile. “Or I mean we could move into your place, this is just a little bigger and closer to work, but I don't mind. Not as long as it's with you.”

 

“You want to move in together?” Jillian asks a little taken aback. “With me? Move in with me?”

 

“Yeah,” Erin says before her smile falters a little. “But if you don't want to, or you think it's too soon….”

 

Jillian silences her with a kiss, grabbing her by the front of her shirt and tugging her close because honestly she doesn't know what else to say or do because just saying yes doesn't quite feel like enough.

 

“Is that a yes?” Erin asks when they break apart after a moment. 

 

“Yes,” Jillian says with a smile as she slides her arms around Erin's waist. “Yes, yes, of course yes.”

 

“Really?” Erin asks with a still hesitant expression, as though waiting for someone to sweep in and take this all away. 

 

“Really,” Jillian says with a nod before she frowns. “I've never lived with anyone before though. What if I do it wrong.”

 

“You won't,” Erin says kindly. “Not with me. It'll be easier than breathing. I'll show you.”

 

 

-

 

 

The day she buys Erin’s engagement ring is a Friday. 

 

It’s cold and her bones ache and she’s covered in bruises from a rough bust earlier in the week.

 

They had all come out relatively unscathed although there had been a split-second in which Jillian saw a different future unfold before her eyes, one where something unthinkable happened and this iteration of their lives ended with a sickening finality.

 

She knows it’s ridiculous really because they’re both fine now, but one of the class four ghosts had picked Erin up by the collar and thrown her down the stairs, and Jillian had been too far away to do anything but watch the scene unfold with ice bleeding into her veins.

 

She had watched for a heart-stopping three seconds as Erin didn’t move a muscle before finally,  _ finally _ , her chest had moved and she'd coughed and Abby and Patty had taken care of the ghost so Jillian could fall to her side, desperately checking for any signs of significant trauma. 

 

Erin had been fine, had dusted herself off and limped to the car with her arm heavy on Jillian's shoulder but Jillian had known then and there that there wasn’t any way that she wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life with the woman at her side. 

 

 

-

 

 

The ring is simple and beautiful and costs Jillian a small fortune but she doesn't care, had asked for the biggest diamond the jeweller had because Erin is light and sparkle and the brightest star Jillian's ever seen made human, and the thought of setting anything else on her finger is criminal. 

 

 

-

 

 

She says yes. 

 

She says yes of course and throws herself into Jillian's arms and Jillian has never felt so completely whole in her entire life. 

 

 

-

 

 

The proposal is simple, because to Jillian their love has been too. 

 

She takes Erin out of state for her forty second birthday and they stay in a fancy hotel by the beach and they have a six course meal for dinner, and it's nothing that Jillian would have chosen for herself but she knows Erin lives for occasional treats like this so she organises it all flawlessly. 

 

They walk on the beach back to their hotel after dinner, shoes in their hands, and Jillian shrugs off her jacket and folds it across Erin's shoulders because it's summer but the night is still cool. 

 

It's a cloudless night and the stars are watching their earth-bound companions and Jillian asks if they can sit for a moment and watch the waves in the dark before they head in for the evening. 

 

Erin smiles and nods and Jillian knows she has absolutely no idea because she's relaxed completely, folded gently into Jillian's side and an Erin anticipating something sits ever so slightly tighter upright. 

 

She's had this big grand speech planned but suddenly it feels a little redundant in the face of the simplicity of the evening, so she reaches into her jacket pocket at Erin's side and pulls out a small black box and looks at Erin with tears in her eyes. 

 

She tells Erin she loves her and the moonlight glints off the stone and Erin gasps, her hand over her mouth for a few seconds before she nods and throws herself at Jillian. 

 

They lay against the dune as Erin holds the ring up to the sky and Jillian cries a little in the dark because it's the single happiest moment of her entire life. 

 

 

-

 

 

They go back to the hotel and make love until the sun rises. 

 

They're soft and then less so when the hunger takes over them both and Erin leaves a bite mark in her shoulder that lasts for days when she comes sitting in Jillian's lap, three fingers deep.  

 

 

-

 

 

“We have to get you a ring. Well, I have to get you a ring.”

 

“You don't have to get me anything, Er.”

 

“Do you not want one?”

 

“No, I do. I really do. I want everyone in the world to know my heart belongs to you.”

 

 

-

 

 

Erin buys her a ring the following week. It's simple and so wonderfully  _ her _ and she never takes it off, not once, for the rest of her life.

 

 

-

 

 

Sometimes she feels like this is all just too good to be true but then she remembers how deep her loneliness used to go and she thinks that maybe she’s paid her debt, that that had been enough suffering for one lifetime.

 

 

-

 

 

Their first dance as wives takes Jillian's breath away. 

 

Erin is resplendent in a white gown that makes Jillian cry when she sees it at the end of the aisle. 

 

Her hands are shaking when she slides Erin's ring onto her finger but Erin's are still and sure when they do the same to her own, and that makes her calm. 

 

After the ceremony they sit at the head of a small collection of the family they have assembled over the last few years, and they eat one-handed because they can't let each other's hands go and she's just so happy she doesn't know what to do with herself.

 

Patty as emcee calls them to the dance floor a while later and she sweeps Erin around the room in a waltz because she has more than just a hip thrust in her repertoire, thank you very much. 

 

Erin's smile sings in her eyes and the way her arms drape themselves around Jillian's shoulders, and her fingers fit the space between Jillian's perfectly, and there might be a room full of people but all she can see is  _ Erin _ ,  _ Erin _ ,  _ Erin _ . 

 

“You look absolutely beautiful,” Jillian whispers in her ear as the music slows much later in the evening and people start to droop in their chairs, her lips gentle at Erin's neck. 

 

“And yours,” Erin says with a knowing grin that makes her body answer warm. 

 

“And mine,” Jillian confirms. “I wonder if sex is better when you're married?” 

 

“I've heard it's worse,” Erin quips with a smirk. 

 

“Oh god,” Jillian says in mock-horror. “Well we can't have that at all, can we?” 

 

“How about you get me out of here and we find out?” Erin says with a heavy edge in her voice. 

 

“You think we can?” Jillian asks with a raised eyebrow as she casts a glance around the room. 

 

“I think it's our wedding and we can do whatever the hell we want,” Erin says as she sweeps her palms over the expanse of Jillian's back as she holds them together. 

 

“Yeah?” Jillian asks, her voice trembling a little as Erin's hand moves down to squeeze her ass.

 

“Yeah,” Erin says with an answering smirk and Jillian draws her in for a long,  _ deep _ kiss that has them both breaking away with a growl. 

 

They make their escape with minimal fanfare and Jillian doesn't take her hands off Erin the entire way back to their hotel.

 

 

-

 

 

It is better. 

 

It's  _ so _ much better. 

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian picks Erin up and carries her over the threshold after they unlock the door, even though it's not their house. It's the sentiment that matters, she mutters against Erin's lips as her hands slide into Jillian's hair. 

 

They're both exhausted by the time they actually get there and it would be so easy to fall into bed in their wedding outfits and find each other's warmth in the morning, but Erin is not having a bar of that. 

 

“You're my wife,” Erin growls against her lips as her hands move over the buttons of her shirt before moving to undo her tie. “I want to make love to my wife. That absolutely cannot wait until morning.”

 

“So do I,” Jillian says as Erin's touch breathes vigor into her bones. 

 

She stops Erin's hands, spins her by the waist so she can slide the zip of her dress  _ down, down, down _ , her lips against the curve of Erin's spine as her hands meet skin lower and lower. 

 

“Did you like the dress?” Erin asks as she half-turns in Jillian's arms. 

 

“I  _ loved _ the dress,” Jillian confirms as she moves her hands over Erin's shoulders, pushing it off and down her arms before she bends low to help it over Erin's hips and it falls to the floor. “Love the body beneath it even more, though.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Erin asks as she turns fully, holding Jillian's gaze as she opens the shirt, and then the buckle of her trousers prompting Jillian to kick them off and start to walk Erin back towards the huge bed scattered with rose petals. “Maybe you should show me?”

 

“Yeah,” Jillian says as she bends down to pick Erin up and carry her the last few steps before pressing her with a breathtaking gentleness down into the bed. “Maybe I should. Tell me love, are the rules different on our wedding night? Do I get to have you until you can't take it anymore?”

 

“Yes,” Erin breathes like snow as she spreads her fingers against Jillian's scalp and they burn in the cold. 

 

 

-

 

 

“Deeper,  _ deeper _ Jill. I need you  **deeper** .”

 

 

-

 

 

Erin is a quivering mess when Jillian is done with her hours later, her voice hoarse from moaning and her body tired from bending but it doesn't stop her from turning them, straddling Jillian's waist as she rocks down bringing them together intimately. 

 

“Now,  _ Mrs Erin Gilbert _ ,” Erin says as she looks down at Jillian, her eyes heavy with arousal. “What on earth are we going to do with you, hmm?”

 

She runs her hand down Jillian's chest, between her breasts and it makes Jillian's core throb. 

 

“How about everything?” Erin asks, her voice liquid and firm as she bends down to Jillian's ear. “Does everything work for you?”

 

 

-

 

 

“Oh god, Erin. I don't think I can….”

 

“Yes, you can baby. One more. One more for me, please.”

 

 

-

 

 

The rings around her finger are light and quiet but she never forgets they’re there. 

 

She's never appreciated the symbolism of a ring before but sometimes she looks at Erin and the bond between them sings  _ unending _ and  _ unbroken _ , and she understands. 

 

 

-

 

 

Erin is home and calm and heat too, and she warms Jillian's bones, the diamond on her finger witness with the stars as their love yawns and builds and  **holds** . 

 

 

-

**Author's Note:**

> Well.......? 
> 
> Did we like even though it wasn't 50,000 words long and/or dipped in angst? I hope you all did, I was a little in love with it by the end myself.
> 
> I'll be back in a few days with another longer oneshot I'm almost finished but in the meantime, come please feel free to come and say hi on [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com), and tell me what you thought. I'm very friendly I promise!
> 
> x


End file.
